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Tag: Mother

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Life Stories

Fighting Against All Odds: Story of Shahin Baji

Shahin Baji has been with us since October 2021. She has provided us considerable support in handling the field operations, conducting surveys and being a safe space for the women of the community. In the 21st century when we talk about the stories of women taking the world in their stride we would like to present a story of Shahin Baji who is our modern day superhero.

She hailed from an open minded family in Uttar Pradesh where she was motivated to gain education and acquire vocational skills. From the very start she used to help her family in their sewing business and helped them deliver the sewed clothes. After her wedding she shifted to her new home in Nizamuddin Basti in Delhi. It was the most beautiful experience of her life. Baji says, “I never knew what outer world was, I have always seen the world through his eyes.” They had a very amicable bond where they laughed, travelled, and raised their kids together. He never asked her to wear a Burqa and always flaunted her like his most prized possession.

After a companionship of 13 years together, a night of horror came when her husband, the light of her life, went missing. He went for his job like everyday and never came back. The incident still remains a mystery. This entire incident was a turning point in Shahin baji’s life.

Young woman who never had to take care of any worldly chore was left with 3 infants all by herself. She didn’t have the luxury to grieve over her loss as she had her children to feed. She says she was fortunate enough to be surrounded by caring, supportive family and friends who looked after her rent and fed her children in the initial months. But she had to look for a sustainable option. 

She finally got an opportunity to work as a field worker for mobilization, conducting surveys and spreading awareness on maternal and child health with Aga Khan Foundation. It was a newly launched project back then which the organization came up with to educate and spread awareness about the health related aspects in the community. But, this was completely out of her comfort zone as she had never been a people’s person and had always stayed in, looking after her family and fulfilling her responsibilities. 

For the initial three months she relied on sewing assignments which she got from a nearby tailor earning 100 rupees a day which was sufficient for her to put food on the table. With an uncertain future she always worried about one day at a time. The tailor gave her two suits to work on: a cotton suit and silk suit. Silk suits took a lot of time so she always looked forward to working on cotton suits and making more revenue. 

One day while making deliveries of the suits she met a woman who informed her about a job opportunity in the Delhi Public School, Mathura road where her children were studying. She was offered a job of gatekeeper but was asked to remove her Burqa for the same. The woman who was never asked to wear a Burqa by her family before and post marriage decided to cover herself as the one man who adored her deeply went missing. Shahin baji says, “I decided to be under the veil as I always wanted to get ready for my husband.”

After three months of hardships at the sewing shop she was asked again by the organization if she would like to take the job. Finally, she agreed to the half day job and joined the organization. Early days were tough as she was not comfortable with moving out and visiting people’s houses but meeting them and listening to their problems made herself realize that everyone has problems to deal with and we need to support each other to fight these battles and win the war. 

Gradually from being a woman who was hesitant to speak to anyone outside her family interacted with the members of 18-20 families and maintained their health records. Her mentor Sakshi who works as a health coordinator in Aga khan Foundation managing around 55 women volunteers has a lot to say about her. She finds Baji as a proactive member who was always ready to take initiatives and volunteer for opportunities. She says, ”Shahin has always been a dedicated and cooperative team member. She has a kind heart and is filled with compassion and empathy. She is not only a support system for her team members but also a repository of knowledge for the people of the community. She is often found circled by women asking for her advice.” 

Life took an unexpected turn for her again in 2020-21 when the health project came to an end and women who were part of that project lost their jobs. Baji was one of them. Sakshi remembers Baji sharing her story with the team members during the training sessions to motivate the women that she has gone through so much in her life and still is powering through all the battles so these women too will do well in their lives and find livelihoods. Sakshi remembers that day so well. She even shared that the aura of Baji while giving that speech is imprinted in her mind till date and she even remembers the dress Baji wore on that day. She shared that seeing her motivating other women even though she herself did not have a safety net and did not know what lies for her in future increased the respect she had for her. She considers Baji to be a tough lady who is filled with compassion on the inside. She wishes Baji to be the same as she is, as the world needs more women like her.

It is often said when God closes one door it opens a million others for us. Similar thing happened with Baji.  She sends her kids to one of the best schools and leaves no stone unturned to provide them with the best of everything. One day Anupama Grover Ma’am, faculty of Delhi Public School, Mathura Road spotted Baji’s son in her class speaking such fine English. Knowing that he is from Economically Weaker Section (EWS) category she asked him who teaches him at home, he said that her elder sister teaches him as his mother is not well educated. She happened to meet Baji and her daughter in one of the Parent-Teacher meetings and was surprised to see that her daughter was also her student in Xth grade. After knowing Baji’s story Anupama ma’am was taken aback and she decided to support them in every way possible. 

In my conversation with Ma’am she shared that Baji is one of the righteous and dignified people she has ever come across. She has never asked for anything. She does not let the shadows of struggle fall upon the bright future of her children. She does her very best to give her children the life they deserve. Whether it be arranging a football kit for her son which would sum to her month’s salary or letting her daughter dream to pursue a professional course. 

We often believe that the most progressive and informed people are those who have attended schools or universities. Baji defied this notion. Anupama Ma’am says, “despite being uneducated she has the instincts of an educated mother.” She shared an anecdote that Baji always used to paste a mosquito repellent sticker behind the buttons of the children’s school uniform in order to keep them safe which most of the educated mothers did not do. This even inspired ma’am to do the same with her kids. When she asked Baji to shift to a less expensive house she denied by saying that this house is better for the ventilation of her children. She always made her children wear clean, new uniforms as she never wanted them to be marginalized by other children for not looking clean and proper. 

Ma’am even shared that once she offered some monetary help to Baji to get herself checked for some ailments but she rather preferred buying uniforms for her children. Baji has always taught her children to be honest, dignified, hard working human beings and to never live on the mercy of others. She defines Baji to be an honest,hard working woman who has a high IQ and EQ. She embraces motherhood with such purity of thought. Even though she hardly has means to fulfil her needs, she is a giver at her heart. She always thinks about helping others in any way possible. Even in the lockdown when asked to share opportunities for employment of other people she used her network to arrange livelihoods for them. 

Ma’am has known Baji for almost a decade now. From helping her with groceries to being a mentor to her kids and arranging uniforms for them, ma’am has been the anchor in their lives. I think this is the way we create a community where we lend helping hands and lift each other up. Over the years she has observed that Baji is happier, more confident and is emotionally secure. For Baji self respect has always been more important than money and now over the years with her dedication, courage and confidence she has earned that respect which was missing earlier in her life. 

It was Anupama Ma’am who put her in touch with our founder, Yasmeen Fatimah to employ her in FFEC. She described her as a trustworthy and honest human being and here we are today when she is an indispensable part of the organization. Women of the organization look up to her as an idol and come to her for advice. She had managed the on ground operations in a very efficient manner and also conducted sessions with women discussing body ailments.

When being asked what motivated her to power through with all this she said that she didn’t have a choice. She had her children to feed and she wanted to live her life with dignity for which the only solution was keeping her sorrows to herself and making each day count. With all the hustle for the past 10 years, her eldest daughter finished her college education who is now providing tuitions and supporting her family. Her son is pursuing his graduation from University of Delhi and her youngest daughter is in high school.

Baji not only supported women around her but also set an example for those who were scared to move out of their homes and support their families. Her colleagues who worked with her for more than a decade consider her to be a role model for women of the community. They have seen Baji creating a life for herself and her children from the scratch. She motivated women to come out of the four walls and explore the world. She faced rocks in her life in the form of taunts and judgments but she never let them slow her pace. She hustled every day to make her ends meet. Apart from being this brave and courageous woman there is also a person inside her who loves cracking jokes, singing and entertaining people. Her friends shared with us that she is no less than a nightingale and no gathering is complete without her music performance.

Baji believes that she has finally achieved a position in her life where not only her opinion matters but also no one dares to cross a line with her. She says that she has a dream of being able to create a space where she can support women, mothers who are not happy in their homes and are living a life of misery. She just wants to see her children settled and live her life in Nizamuddin where she has created memories to cherish for the lifetime.

Every mother is a superhero but what Baji does for people around her despite her own issues makes her an epitome of a true leader. We hope that her story becomes a light of hope for every other woman struggling and also brings comfort with an assurance that everything is going to be fine.

Note from the founder:

Some time in November 2021 Anupama reached out to me with a request. She wanted me to help a woman who had lost her job at Agha Khan Foundation in Nizamuddin Basti. “She is very hard working and righteous. Even in the most dire situation she prefers to earn money rather than be given as charity,” said Anupama on a WhatsApp call to me.

Although FFEC has been working with young women on nutrition and hygiene, we didn’t have a proper program or funds so I wasn’t sure how I would be able to help Shaheen Baji but decided to call and talk to her. After hearing about her work I told her FFEC doesn’t have any projects in Nizamuddin but if she is open to working with a similar marginalized community in Trilokpuri she can come for a visit and then decide if she can commute such a long distance and would like to work with the women in Ambedkar camp. She promptly came the next day with a friend to meet with our Operations Head, Akbar at our center in Block 32, Trilokpuri who took her around the neighborhood we work in.

The next day she told me she was willing to commute because she felt she could really make a difference to the lives of women here because the community reminded her of how the Basti was when she had first started and how much impact they had been able to make. I was impressed by her willingness to step out of her comfort zone and her dedication to her work. I saw an opportunity for FFEC and the community we work with to really benefit from her field experience and ability to connect with people.

She has already made a difference – conducting surveys, organizing the women to form self help groups, conducting sessions on nutrition for the family, women’s health and now identifying women with skills that can be nurtured for income generating projects. She is an inspiration and an awesome community leader! FFEC is glad to have found her and look forward to empowering women with her leadership.